What better time is it to talk about love, if not this month? So, let me ask you these questions:
Have you ever felt so deeply attached to somebody you felt as though you’d die from the mere thought of breaking up with them? Have you ever tirelessly chased someone because you thought they were your perfect match? Have you ever given up opportunities for a person you badly wanted to be with? Have you ever had arguments with friends or family who saw the red flags you desperately tried covering up?
Yes to all of the above? Oh, you’ve…
Warning: Poopy rant! No photos included.
So when one decides to put their cute dog on a leash and head out for a walk, do they also plan on just ditching their dog poop on the pavement, street corners, parks, or other people’s lawns? Or is it spontaneous like, “oopsy, my dog just did a poopsie! Hey, come and see my dog’s cutesy litsy poopy. I’m going to pull a dog poop evader on you, folks! Enjoy!” And it’s as if, us, petless mortals go, “wowee, we got tons of dog poop in our midst!”
I wonder if the maintenance…
“Notting Hill, that’s the best movie ever. Superb!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me right kiddo, Notting Hill is my favorite movie. I’ve seen it more than any other movie.”
“You’re just taking the piss. You? Didn’t you beat the most foul-mouthed sailor at the Who Can Swear the Most competition? You’ve been continuously regaling us with stories of how as hard as nails you are. Now you’re confessing your heart pitter-patter at the sight of love-struck Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant in Notting Hill?”
“Yes, they looked incredible together. I like the part when he said, “…
“Grow a pair and tell her ASAP.” “I feel so guilty. She’s a good person, but I don’t think she’s the right one for me. I don’t want to hurt her.” “So, your idea of not inflicting pain is traveling thousands of miles to meet her family after you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling?” “I was miserable on that trip. She’s high maintenance. We’re not compatible.” “But, you opted to prolong it and sent her flowers instead.” “Well, she’s sweet and sent me birthday gifts after the troublesome trip.” “Perhaps you still want to give it a chance?” “Nah, I know…
Yes, I bent over and took it. I finally played for fortune at the Cali lottery. The jackpot prize? $447 million! Many people were queueing up when I got there at 7:45 am. The place opened at 10, and by then, hundreds of desperate folks like myself joined the line. We braved the frigid temperature with the delusion to snatch a piece of heaven. Did I snag millions? Predictably, I only flushed $20 down the drain. The gods of luck weren’t generous enough to grant me the pot of Benjamins from Mega Millions.
Upon knowing what I was up to…
On the morning of January 01, 1980, I woke up freezing from the cold. I ran outside my barracks and got buried knee-deep in the white stuff on the ground. Barefoot, I got hit with a piercing cold I had never before experienced! “What’s happening? What’s this white thing falling from the sky?”
“You monkey, where are you from?” That was the reply.
“Well, definitely not from here.”
“That’s snow, enjoy!”
And I did; I tasted it, jumped around in it, and rubbed it all over my body. That was my first winter. That was my first snowy January in a land far away from home.
Fan of real-life experiences? Here’s one for you:
Traveler,photographer, risk-taker, language trainer, aspiring wordsmith, and at the moment — a hobo :)